I have stopped my job search for the time being, and it looks like Rose and I will be splitting up by the end of the year.
My peace of mind is more important to me than traditional security, and for now having peace of mind means taking it slow and doing things one day at a time.
I have come up with 4 basic ways that my jobless situation will resolve:
1) I gain strong enough motivation to get and keep a job while living with Rose.
2) I gain strong enough motivation to get and keep a job after finding another place to live without Rose.
3) I don't gain strong enough motivation to get and keep a job, so I find a cheaper place to live and live off social security alone. (Mom is currently giving me money every month on top of my SSDI payment.)
4) I don't gain strong enough motivation to get and keep a job, and cheaper housing doesn't work out (either because I can't find something suitable or because I need more freedom, or both), so I hit the road for an adventure until I find a suitable place to settle down and possibly work.
* * * * *
It looks like Rose and I will not be able to make it to the wedding in Ohio in August because we don’t have enough money for the trip.
I have been on a reduced dose of risperidone for 2 weeks, and so far I am doing fine. I’m seeing my psychiatrist in 2 more weeks to check in.
I have been meditating, and I enjoyed this 18-minute video from Buddhist Geeks called Enlightenment for the Rest of Us.
